“There is no more stupefying thing than anger, nothing more bent on its own strength. If successful, none more arrogant, if foiled, none more insane-since it’s not driven back by weariness even in defeat, when fortune removes its adversary it turns its teeth on itself.”
-Seneca, On Anger, 3.1.5
You know that feeling when someone in a group gets angry and freaks out in a public setting. Your heart just kind of sinks and you walk away feeling ashamed, defeated, and embarrassed. He or she lashing out clearly wasn’t productive but disruptive. No one around us asked to witness that and we friends didn’t need that.
Anger issues are a common problem so many of us deal with. I guarantee you can think of a few people who fall into this category. I am no expert on anger issues and have never experienced it in a consistent fashion.
But I will say this. When you’re close to someone and he or she chooses anger over being productive in high stress or abrupt situations consistently, be honest with them. You are doing them a favor by telling them they don’t need to act that way and that their actions are hurting them and certainly not helping those around them. Some people turn to anger for attention. I’ve seen it multiple times and that person deserves to hear the hard truth. Don’t stand idly by and watch those around suffer from anger, speak up but do it in a manner that will really get them thinking. The last thing you want is to lash out at them especially when they are already angry, no one will win and you may make things worse. But in a clear cool state of mind sit down with them and express your concern for their angry actions. Explain how much better and more productive they could be if they gained the ability to push their anger aside and focus on the situation that is clear important enough to enrage them. I bet they will thank you if not immediately but down the road.
Meditation is the best tool I have noticed for absolving anger issues amongst a plethora of other benefits. Apps such as Headspace and Calm are great for getting started with meditation. As Tim Ferriss states in his book Tools Of Titans, about 80% of highly successful people in their own right have a consistent everyday meditation practice. I should have to say no more.